Dear Oscar,

I went for a little jaunt this afternoon – just a walk to the main park in Chortleton Spa, and I bought myself a coffee and sat watching the world go by for half an hour. I was watching – but not listening to – the superprivileged.

I was not listening because I did not have to; I could tell from a distance that this foursome – two men, two women – two couples, no less – were lost in a world of carping and criticising, both on a microscopic scale and also in epic proportions. The coffee they had bought was not strong enough, and the wooden spoons seemed like a ludicrous concession to the ‘green’ agenda, and the park was well kept – but by volunteers, so it was said, and the government had got it all wrong, about everything, and leaders could not lead, and rulers could not rule, and the planet was in danger and the cosmos was about to implode.

I could hear it all without listening to a word.

I thought to myself: how comfortable do your lives have to be before you will just shut up for a moment and look at the beauty of the falling leaves, red, orange, yellow and gold, as you pat your full bellies, contemplating the delights of your supper to come, wandering back to your new cars for the journey to dog-ville, and spoiled teenage children, and plans for a winter vacation.

They were compromising their health with chocolate bars, the women with their rather weak caffeine fix, and the men with pints of alcohol foaming before them, indulging, endlessly indulging. I noticed that the women led the conversation – which was an animated conversation, one where things were being discussed, tales were being relayed, and that every now and again one of the men would intervene with some witty side-comment, or some joke, or some ribald observation.

They would laugh.

How they would laugh.

The super-privileged.

Best wishes to you, Oscar dear – such people need your needle-sharp lampooning!

Your friend,

(…and I hope you appreciate that there was a time where very, very few people would have admitted to being ‘your friend’),

Algernon B. Duffoure.