Dear Oscar,

There were some people who liked you and supported you even in your darkest days, either because they were the same as you, or because they sympathised with you, or because they found a way to position themselves in opposition to the established norm. The vast majority, however, did not support you at all, their reasons being that you were unnatural, perverse, uncommon, alien, other to themselves. There was what is called ‘moral opprobrium’.

I do not know where I would have positioned myself had I been there at that time.

I may have believed all of the salacious gossip that was made public through the newspapers, and decided that the voice of that moral opprobrium was correct, and that your existence was against nature, and that you were too strongly against ‘God’s will’ (and it would not have mattered which God I may have been referring to – they all seem to have had a problem with you – apart from the deities of the Ancients, whom you knew so well, and promoted for your own ends).

I may have been caught by the auspices of the time, the expectations of the society which surrounded me, and which dictated a ‘correct’ path, a way of living from which no-one was supposed to waver (and so found a wife, as you found a wife, had some children, as you had children – in fact I remember this pressing in upon me in my own time – the family requirements, the social law).

I may have condemned myself to a lonely path of fetid academia with its rules and rigmaroles, or turned to the Church with all of its proscriptions, embraced a faith which showed me the way forward, lived out my life as I seem now to live out my life, in quietude and reflection, not making my presence felt, not speaking to the world and not responding when the world speaks to me. I may have developed an illustrious career, a set path of noticeable progression or obvious failure which could be pinned upon me as a point of definition, to make me known, make me understood, and distance me as far as possible from anyone like you.

But of course, like most people, to some degree, I am like you. On occasions I like to show off and be noticed, be regarded as witty and entertaining, make people smile, hold up a mirror to absurdity, make people laugh. I like to dress up, to make known my good fortune when good fortune comes to me, to lament my losses in a way that evokes sympathetic understanding, be proud and fearless, stand tall and broad and unassailable. I like the company of others like myself, and I am driven by primal urges at root, the very spark of being, the need to indulge passion, experience pleasure, set forth the serotonin, enhance my feelings, move in the fast stream, in high definition, in three dimension, fly, speed, gorge myself, dream and desire.

Feast with panthers.

Your good friend,

Algernon B. Duffoure.